Learning to Trust

Learning to trust.................again. Being in a relationship is wonderful, I love being with him, love being curled up in bed, love talking about nothing til 2AM. But having been through a divorce and having my heart trambled on a few times since then, trust is a challenge. There is no reason not to trust him and I am, but I keep getting those little twinges of fear at times, moments of panic, mostly I'm scared to death that he'll wake up one day and realize I'm nothing special. Trust, hope, and pray........the keys to life.

burning off karma

Last week at work one of our CPR instructors came in and had a little story to share. See a few months ago a bunch of our local police officers were at a fundraiser walk/run and were on a break when a lightening storm hit, several of the people at the shelter house were struck by lightening. As the remaining people started caring for those injuried our instructor had to do CPR on his best friend and partner. They continued to do CPR, way past the time when it should have made a difference, long story short the guy survived. Later at the hospital the instructor was telling the doctor how he was used the new CPR standards that he just learned the week before. The doctor replied saying using those new skills probably saved his life. (got chills yet?) I'm standing there listening to this wowed at the courage and strength it took for him to perform CPR on his best friend and a little proud, you see I taught him those new skills the week before. While I in no way take any credit for what happened, it sure did make my day...............oh yeah, take a CPR class!! you never know when you'll need to use it!

Ok, I admit it

Ok, fine I'll admit it, I'm in a realtionship, a pretty good one too. Yeah yeah yeah, I know you all are saying 'I told you so' all I have to say about that is HMMMPHHHH. This is totally different than anything I've experienced, which is way awesome. I can totally be me, weird me, crazy me, make no sense about anything me and we all know I can be a difficult person at times, but even that doesn't seem to be a problem, weird huh? My biggest worry right now, isn't where is this going or anything like that it's how in the hell do I keep from screwing this up. But things are good, the hardest part is him living in Columbus and me living in BFE Jackson, more than an hour away, but if that's our biggest problem, I say things are okie dokie (yes, I said okie dokie, deal with it). He even goes to the craft store with me now if that's not love I don't know what is :)

On a weird note, I never believed that old saying that girls turned into their mothers as they get older but OMG it's true. Remember how she was always singing or humming weird songs and making up songs all the time? I have caught myself doing that for the last few weeks, and at work this week a volunteer started laughing at me when I started singing the campbell's soup song at my desk, just out of the blue, no reason at all. God help me!