Vacation Day 6

Paul and I got up and went shopping again. I think we hit every outlet mall in a 10 mile radius. Spent way too much money at the scrapbook clearance store, everything was 50% off. Had lunch at Fuddruckers. Kind of cloudy today and trying to rain. The leaves get prettier everyday.

Vacation Day 5

Day 5, October 31

Spent morning in Gatlinburg. Ripley's Aquarium was first. The tunnel under the tanks was very cool. Lots of different kinds of sharks.































Tried to go to lunch at Hard Rock but they were packed.

Ended up having lunch at Shoney's. Went shopping afterwards. Got lots of goodies for family and us. Went back to the room so Paul could work on homework. Dinner at Olive Garden and boy were we stuffed afterwards. Took lots of night pictures of Pigeon Forge on the way back.

Vacation Day 4

Day 4, October 30

Up early, ate breakfast in the room, drove into the state park and went to Cades Cove, another auto tour. First two pics are from the drove up there.



































On the drive up the colors were incredible. Cades Cove was OK, but not alot of interesting views. Took over an hour to drive 11 miles. On the drive back saw a group of people on the side of road, pulled over and there were 3 bears!!! There were two smaller black bears and one larger one. The larger one was coming up the hill and didn't seem concerned with all the people. My pictures of them didn't turn out too well, but Paul got some great shots on the video camera.















Coming down the Mountain saw this view of Gatlinburg.















Came back to town, lunch at Cracker Barrel because we were starved. In the evening went shopping in Pigeon Forge (outlet malls!) and Seiverville. Dinner at a Chinese Buffet.

Vacation Day 3

Day 3, October 29

Breakfast at Smokey Mountain Pancake House.















Picked up maps at the Great Smokey Mountains Welcome Center. Took an auto tour of Roaring Fork, up the mountain on a little road with lots of twists and turns. On the way down there were lots of little waterfalls and the stream ran along side the road.
















Went to the Arts and Crafts community, it's off the main tourist route, back in the hills. Bought some souvenoirs and saw alot of great artisan work. Took a wrong turn and found a great view of the mountains in a cemetary.















Ate a late lunch on the deck of an old fashioned shake shoppe. Came back to the room and looked at the pictures and my poor attempt at video tapping, must remember to turn off camera when not taping. :) Dinner was BBQ. Drove out to Dollywood but it was dark and couldn't see anything but the parking lot.

Vacation Day 2

Day 2, October 28

Up very late, went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast/lunch, very good food and prices. Weather is perfect, about 60 degrees, sunny skies, beautiful. The colors are perfect, we hit the leaves at their peak.

















Went to Boyd's Bears, a very neat building built to look like a barn, it's ontop of a hill so you get great views. This location is closing and had sale prices!!!!
































Drove through Pigeon Forge, stopped at a "As seen on TV" store, wow lots of crap. We had a good laugh and left. Drive around, went to walmart (yeah baby!) and stocked up on snacks. Went to dinner in Gatlinburg at a nice seafood place. It was a chilly night but very clear.

Vacation Day 1

October 27, Day 1

Lots and lots of rain and fog on drive down. There was a terrible accident in KY right before TN. Got stuck in rush hour traffic in Seiverville, TN on the way to Gatlinburg (Seiverville, Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg, pretty much run together). Took us an hour to go about 20 miles. The resort is gorgeous, the room is very nice, but a little bit of a hike uphill. Went to Gatlinburg for dinner and walked a few blocks unilt the rain started again. Both Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg are very commercial and lots of neon signs, glad Paul was driving, I was too busy gawking out the window like a country hick.

No pictures to share, was too rainy.

Road Trips!

See everyone in November, am leaving in a few days for a much needed vacation. Will post lots of pictures when I return.

At the end of November, work is flying me to FL to drive a new ERV back! Not sure how exciting the pics will be of that :) But it will be a fun road trip on someone elses check!

29 years

Wow, 29 years, I sure haven't accomplished much but looking back, it hasn't been too shabby. I have a good job, good car, place to live, great friends, someone that loves me dearly, not sure I could ask for anything more.

My Dogs and Cats - Rules

My Dogs and Cats
SUBJECT: RULES

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and containyour food. The other dishes are mine and contain myfood. (Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate & food does not stake a claim for itbecoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.)

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster thanyou can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. Iam very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They canactually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. (I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out theother end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.)

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. (In addition, I have been using the bathroom foryears...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cats' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

To pacify you I have posted the following message onour front door...
Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:
1. They live here; you don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son and/or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech challenged.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink orsmoke, don't worry about buying the latest fashions,don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.

10 Rules for being human

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2.You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called LIFE. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant or stupid. It makes no difference, you will learn lessons.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works".

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to belearned.

6. "There" is no better than "here". When your 'there" has become a "here" you will simply obtain another "there" that will again, lookbetter than "here".

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources that you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is YOURS.

9. The answers to life's questions lie inside of you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

10. You will get what you ask for. It may not be what you wanted...but it will be what you asked for.

from the book -- IF LIFE is a GAME, THESE are the RULESby Chere Carter-Scott.

Learning to Trust

Learning to trust.................again. Being in a relationship is wonderful, I love being with him, love being curled up in bed, love talking about nothing til 2AM. But having been through a divorce and having my heart trambled on a few times since then, trust is a challenge. There is no reason not to trust him and I am, but I keep getting those little twinges of fear at times, moments of panic, mostly I'm scared to death that he'll wake up one day and realize I'm nothing special. Trust, hope, and pray........the keys to life.

burning off karma

Last week at work one of our CPR instructors came in and had a little story to share. See a few months ago a bunch of our local police officers were at a fundraiser walk/run and were on a break when a lightening storm hit, several of the people at the shelter house were struck by lightening. As the remaining people started caring for those injuried our instructor had to do CPR on his best friend and partner. They continued to do CPR, way past the time when it should have made a difference, long story short the guy survived. Later at the hospital the instructor was telling the doctor how he was used the new CPR standards that he just learned the week before. The doctor replied saying using those new skills probably saved his life. (got chills yet?) I'm standing there listening to this wowed at the courage and strength it took for him to perform CPR on his best friend and a little proud, you see I taught him those new skills the week before. While I in no way take any credit for what happened, it sure did make my day...............oh yeah, take a CPR class!! you never know when you'll need to use it!

Ok, I admit it

Ok, fine I'll admit it, I'm in a realtionship, a pretty good one too. Yeah yeah yeah, I know you all are saying 'I told you so' all I have to say about that is HMMMPHHHH. This is totally different than anything I've experienced, which is way awesome. I can totally be me, weird me, crazy me, make no sense about anything me and we all know I can be a difficult person at times, but even that doesn't seem to be a problem, weird huh? My biggest worry right now, isn't where is this going or anything like that it's how in the hell do I keep from screwing this up. But things are good, the hardest part is him living in Columbus and me living in BFE Jackson, more than an hour away, but if that's our biggest problem, I say things are okie dokie (yes, I said okie dokie, deal with it). He even goes to the craft store with me now if that's not love I don't know what is :)

On a weird note, I never believed that old saying that girls turned into their mothers as they get older but OMG it's true. Remember how she was always singing or humming weird songs and making up songs all the time? I have caught myself doing that for the last few weeks, and at work this week a volunteer started laughing at me when I started singing the campbell's soup song at my desk, just out of the blue, no reason at all. God help me!

Makin' Pickles

Jars in the canner processing

The first batch

What would you do? (revised)

What would you do if you won the lottery? The lotto commercial came on while I was driving home today, driving my 45 minute plus drive, after the very long week of dealing with people who abuse the system, who lie and who seem to get away with; all at the same time of dealing with people who desperately need help but can't get any (for anyone out there thinking of a career change, let me suggest anything but social service type work), sooo back to the story, the commercial comes on and I start to think, what would I do if I won the lottery. Here's my list:

• Buy a house, not a big house, not a mansion, but a decent good house, with land, oh and trees and maybe a creek with a view of the mountains, well if I'm dreaming, a barn with pastures and a pond and some ducks, yes! I want some ducks with my house!!
• Buy my father and brother a house, just far enough away that I can check on dad but not close enough to have to take care of him. Hmm, I'd probably pay for my brother and his financees' school, that would be a very nice wedding present.
• Put the majority of the money in investments and live off the interest and quit the job! Oh yes, the job would go bye bye. If I get bored being at home all day (wow can't imagine that happening) I would like to open a bookstore in a little town.
• Everyone says they would donate to charities, and while I am a firm believer in supporting your local charity, I think I would set aside a chunk of money designated for charities and then support them when they really needed something important, like a jump start on a building campaign or like the poor people today who really needed help but couldn't find any.
• I'd invest in a little car shop that my ex has been fantasizing about for years now. Invest mind you! I want to see a profit :)
• Apparently in my original post I left off a very important person, I can't believe where my mind was to have left him off, but he is soooo special and dear to me that he gets to pick three things when I win, anything 3 things, I might even dress up like the genie and grant his wishes for him, hehehehe.

I'd do that and probably a million more things, maybe I'll win the 40 mil this week, oh wait that's right I'm too cheap to buy a ticket, darn....

Oh and it's up to 49 mil now, very very tempting..................

The Rescue

Here's a few pics of the little one I rescued last week. I was leaving for work and on the exit to Athens when I saw her in the middle of the 4 lanes. I figured someone had hit her and when I drove by she moved! So soft hearted me pulled over, I stood by the side of the road while what seemed like a million cars and trucks zoomed over and by her, I kept hoping no one would hit her while I was standing there. Finally I go out scoop her up, her eyes were the size of saucers but she was alive and didn't have any obvious injuries. I put her in the backseat of the car and went to work. At the office she had perked up and was moving around some, her only injuries were a scrap on the chin and a swollen eye. She spent the night with me and then went to her new home the next day. A lady at my office took her in and says she is a ball of energy and doing just fine.

Making Pesto

Making fresh pesto with basil from my garden

First Harvest

The first veggies from my garden.

Cherry tomatoes and chives

Summer squash, thyme, and basil.

Piano

I pulled out my keyboard tonight, I had given my piano away several months ago, it had been in storage for years and I didn't have the means to move it or the place to put it. It broke my heart to give it away and I miss it so much, but for now the keyboard is good enough. It's not a full size piano keyboard, but has 4 octaves, so at least I can actually play the majority of my songs on it. So tonight I finally pulled it out, OMG I can't believe I forgot what a release playing is for me. I'm pretty rusty and need alot of practice, but really not too bad considering.

I started playing when I was 8, so wow, that's 20 years of playing piano. When I was younger I would come home from school and play for an hour or so, practice my lessons and then just play a variety of things. I would play faster and faster, totally immensed in the keys and just loose myself. If I messed up on a song or got frustrated I would play pop goes the weasel, it's like my way of erasing and clearing the board. Nothing like hearing someone go from Beethoven to pop goes the weasel in a matter of seconds. I played at church for several years, now all I really enjoy to play is the old time humns.

My mom always said she loved to hear me play, must have been true now that I think of the amount of money and time they put into my lessons. By the time I was in high school the 1/2 hour piano lessons every week weren't enough for me, so I added another lesson, finally around my junior year, there wasn't any reason for me to keep going. During college I didn't play as much, when I moved out I didn't have my piano for several years, I bought the keyboard, but it never was the same. Eventually I was able to bring the piano to my house, but that only lasted for a few months until it had to go to storage. I wish I had the space for a piano here, but I don't.

Some day, some day soon...........

The Itch

Ever had that itch, the itch that you really needed to do something and to it really soon. Well not really an itch, more like an impatient voice in the back of your head. I've head mine for over a year now and it's getting worse. Some days it's small and quiet and easy to dismiss, today it started shouting. Ok ok I know this might sound a little like a psycho person, trust me I am in complete control of my facilities (well as much as I ever was). I need to think....................

Garden 7/6

...then laugh, leaning back in my arms, for life is not a paragraph, and death I think is no parenthesis.
-e.e. cummings

Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.
-Dag Hammarskjold

My feeling is that there is nothing in life but refraining from hurting others, and comforting those who are sad.
-Olive Schreiner

It's such a straightforward sort of colour.
I never squint at a black tee shirt, wondering if it goes with my black jeans.
I never have to get up in the morning, thinking "I wonder what colour I'll wear today."
And black goes with anything.
As long as the anything is black.
- Neil Gaiman

The agony in my fears mirrors the blood of my bitter solitude.
-Lemuel W. H. Ranier

It was then, staring into the fear, that my tortured existence was truly born.
-Anonymous

How do I say goodbye to what we had, the good times that made us laugh outweigh the bad, I thought we'd get to see forever, but forevers gone away - it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday
-Anonymous

Garden Progress

Here's an update on the garden. Don't mind the weeds please, I haven't worked in it for a few days. Below is the lone squash plant, I'm hoping one plant doesn't overwhelm me with squash.

Three of the tomato plants. See the little baby tomatoes! The fencing is to keep out bunnies and naughty next door neighbor children :)

Parsley plants

The basil plants, they really took off this week after the rain.

The sunflowers all died, naughty children next door kept pulling them out of the pot. The thyme is still growing, the chives are about half dead, and the cucumber plant is still alive if I can just get it into the ground! Never got the spinach and onions seeds planted, probably too hot now.

My new toy

Scottie

My cutie

The Parable of Twins

I got this in my email one day, I don't know the author, but I find it heartwarming and soothing. It has a deeper meaning if you listen.

The Parable of Twins

Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived. Weeks passed and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy, "Isn't it great that we were conceived" Isn't it great to be alive?"

Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother's cord that gave them life, they sang for joy! "How great is our mother's love that she shares her own life with us!"

As weeks stretched into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing, "What does it mean?" asked one.

"It means our stay in this world is drawing to an end." said the other

"But I don't want to go," said one. "I want to stay here always."

"We have no choice," said the other. "But maybe there is life after birth."

"But how can there be?" responded one. "We will shed our life cord and how is life possible without it? Besides we have seen evidence that others were here before us and none of them has returned to tell us there is life after birth. No, this is the end. Maybe there is no mother at all."

"But there has to be," protrested the other. "How else did we get here? How do we remain alive?"

"Have you ever seen our mother?" said one. "Maybe she only lives in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good."

The other replied "well if you are very quiet, you might hear her sing and feel how she carassess our little world."

Romantic quotes

Ok don't ask what got into me.............

"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself."- Jean Anouilh

"A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one."- Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

"Love is the life of the soul. It is the harmony of the universe."- William Ellery Channing

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."- Unknown

"Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride whorthwhile."- Franklin P. Jones

"Where there is love there is life."- Gandhi

I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine. - The Song of Solomon

I have nothing more to give you than my heart. - Spanish saying

Here is my heart, guard it well. - French saying

"She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes"
-Lord Byron

Darkness

It's always there, right on the edge, just waiting for the perfect time. It waits til I think things are going ok, til I think that once again I have it under control and it rears it's ugly little head. Tonight out of the blue, reading a book, it came, this time it tried a new method, instead of someone saying something or me seeing something to bring on the darkness, it just came, hit me like a brick, was an overwhelming feeling of sadness. Oh well, not like I haven't been down this road before, luckily anymore the road is short and I know the path, not like it was years ago. Years ago........... I don't even have the words to say what transpired in those years, just know to the one who was there that if you are reading this, I am truly sorry. Wow the years have flown by, much has changed and sadly much has stayed the same. I feel trapped, I feel trapped by decisions I made and by decisions that were thrust upon me. Maybe everyone feels this way, or maybe I am alone in this feeling too. I think I'm more angry about the decisions I made, God help me I tried to make the right decisions, they seemed to be right at the time, but now, now all I see is an empty future, I see no reason why anyone would want to be with me, I see no hope for things changing. The future I long for scares me, the future I hope for is so distant it seems like a dream. Maybe all this is a dream, maybe what's beyond this life is reality......maybe. But for now I will go to bed, cry myself to sleep yet again, I will be thankful for what I do have which is so much more than so many, I will wake up tomorrow and try again and I will be ashamed for putting down these thoughts for letting this part of me out for even this short amount of time, but I know it's needed. So off to bed I go with my dogs and my cat, knowing that it will be ok and the darkness will fade.

View

This was my view on my drive home Friday after work.

How lucky am I?

Herbs so far

It's still not much, but here's the pics of my herbs so far. Everything but the thyme was started from seeds in the kitchen.

The chives and two little parsley plants struggling along.

The Basil and Parsley. They are actually doing really well, especially the parsley. With as many basil plants as I have everyone will be getting pesto gifts in August :)

Thyme (store bought) sunflowers and a few more parsley plants. The sunflowers for some reason aren't doing well. If they were a little more sturdy I'd put them in the ground. It probably didn't help that the cat thought playing in the pot was fun and that sunflowers were his personal salad bar.

Seedings

Here's the start of my garden. Looks like it might be warm enough this week to put some of them outside.

My African Violet

Chives

Basil

Sunflowers

One Year

Today is the one year mark since mom died. I feel like I should be doing something special or write some great tribute or something. I kind of feel bad that nothing is coming to mind. But I know she still loves me.

Addicted

I think I'm addicted to salsa. Yep, defintely addicted. Wonder if there is a support group out there for salsa addicts, hmmm.......

Dog Quotes

If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went - Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face - Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself - Josh Billings

The average dog is nicer than the average person - Andy Rooney

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult - Rita Rudner

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money - Joe Weinstein

Even consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! - Anne Tyler

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "wow you're right I would have never thought of that" - Dave Barry

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them - Phil Pastoret

My goal in life to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.

Parenting the Parents

So it's been almost a year since mom died and things just keep going down hill here. I feel like I have become a parent to my own father. Maybe's he's just depressed, but since around December he has become impossible to live with. Refuses to talk, is grumpy, snappish, demanding, won't clean up or pick up after himself. I am beginning to feel like I live with a teenager. I am truly at my wits end here. Even thinking about leaving makes me feel guilty for leaving him alone, but am not sure I can do this much longer. My brother is even less of a help, every time I ask for advice, just mumbles "I don't know"

Poet Unknown

There is no thing that dying, dies forever:
Nothing is so forespent
But it may somehow finally recapture
That first content,
Wrought of the frail and protoplasmic splendor
Of element.

There is no song, once sung, made still forever:
Never such hush profound
But somewhere in the fibers of creation
Under the ground
And over the light of stars in the summer heavens
Makes cosmic sound.

There is no love, once told, that dies completely:
Never such love has grown
But scatters seed producing in its likeness
From zone to zone:
Shaping the destiny of men and angels
In worlds unknown.

Countee Cullen Poem

"Live like the wind," he said, "unfettered,
And love me while you can;
And when you will, and can be bettered,
Go to the better man.

"For you'll grow weary, maybe, sleeping
So long a time with me;
Like this there'll be no cause for weeping;
The wind is always free.

"Go when you please," he would be saying,
His mouth hard on her own;
That's why she stayed and loved the staying,
Contented to the bone.

Robert Service Poem

I know a garden where the lilies gleam,
And one who lingers in the sunshine there;
She is than white-stoled lily far more fair,
And oh, her eyes are heaven-lit with dream!

I know a garret, cold and dark and drear,
And one who toiles and toils with tireless pen,
Until his brave, sad eyes grow weary - then
He seeks the stars, pale, silent as a seer.

And ah, it's strange; for, desolate and dim,
Between these two there rolls an ocean wide;
Yet he is in the garden by her side
And she is in the garret there with him.